January 2, 2019

Today was okay but then it was bad. I went back to work after the holidays (not counting the one-hour stops I did on regular business days). It went fine.

My co-workers are pretty good. They sent me flowers for Dad's funeral. It got me all choked up that they did. They're good people.

While at the office, my oldest sister sent a picture of a locket that said "Daddy's Girl: I used to be his angel, now he's mine."

I lost it. I'm still losing it at intervals. I want my Dad back.  I miss him so much. My Daddykinz. I love him so much, I can't stand this emptiness in my life.

When he passed, I messaged my nephew (by marriage) and asked him to let my ex know. He asked for my email address so my ex could reach out to me.

I want to save it here.

Hiya,


     I just heard about your Dad and I am so, so sorry.  I can’t imagine how it feels when a person loses a parent.  It feels like the whole world and the day to day nonsense should stop, but it never does. I feel like I never had a Dad except for about a dozen years when I had yours.  I loved him like I never remember loving my own.  I hope that in the coming months that you can focus on what an absolutely wonderful awesome guy he was.  Literally the best man I ever knew.  He would want you to be happy and remember the fun times.  I’ve missed him for years but today it was like my heart dropped out all over again.  I mourn with you, and I will miss him a ton.  Please take care of yourself and your sisters. 


It warmed my heart to have him say those things. My Dad really liked him and came to visit us in California a few times. He had so much fun each time.

I'm glad I was able to give him some great adventures like that. Oh, Daddy...I miss you so much.

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