January 9, 2019

I want to call my Dad right now. I want to hear his voice so badly.

I finally had a dream about him, two nights ago. I saw him and it felt like my dream paused just so I could talk to him. I told him there must have been a mistake and we buried another guy instead of him, because he was there with me. For some reason, it was a big joke and we laughed over it

I told him how much I missed him.

He didn't say much. But I could feel his love around me. I miss him so goddamn much. I wish I'd said it more or shown him more.

This is hurting so much. It still feels so surreal. I can't believe it sometimes. I'm in shock and stunned.

I just want my Dad back, so much.

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