May 23, 2019

Dear Dad,

I'm not sure how I'm doing, lately. I feel motivated on some days but then that goes away and I can barely get out of bed in the morning.

I'm frustrated with the situation at your camping spot. I wish we could stay there forever and never have to worry about moving your stuff. I never thought we'd ever have to go through this. I can still hear your voice in my head and see you laughing and smiling. This is so very hard.

Every time I see a "Remember Adam" sign, I want to call you and laugh over it but i can't. I miss you so much, my Daddykins. I still can't bring myself to checking out your computer or putting away your travel mugs. I feel frozen, or in a place where the slightest change in my surroundings takes away from you.

I wish I could go back and he with you more. Tell my anxiety to fuck off, I need to spend time with my Dad. I wish I had done more with you. I never got to show you my PS4 on your huge TV or gone to Manitoulin one more time.

I love you, Dad. I just wish I'd said it and showed it more often and I'm so sorry for that. I hope that somehow I did enough.

Love you always,

~Chrissy

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